Some years ago, this character was created by Randall Malus and a lost friend. He was lost because he decided to be a giant bag of dicks, pardon the language, not because of any kind of sickness. Since this is the case and he is, to my knowledge, still alive to possibly read this then we shall refer to this lost friend as Samuel since the last known photograph of him had him looking like Samuel Loomis from Halloween. The genesis for Tampon-Bot’s creation was an image from a “World of Darkness” source-book, since White Wolf’s output factored largely into a lot of plans at that time. While Randall had plans to run a group of World of Darkness games (which did get off the ground) Samuel took it upon himself to establish a game about super-heroes using another of White Wolf’s systems. There was a third, about 1920s adventuring, that everyone agreed upon to be pretty keen but no one took up the reins on that one.

Randall’s World of Darkness campaign stretched across several systems and helped laid the foundation for what would eventually become the Abnormapshere. Some of its central characters were Doctor Derangemo and Tampon-Bot, as well as a wealth of others. For the purposes of this story, we shall only focus on them. They were a mad scientist and his melancholic creation and they were a delight. In any case, it was suggested that the multiple games take place in the same universe. This eventually became the foundation for the Before Times in which characters of all sorts wandered around together making messes. Samuel wanted to place his super-hero game into another universe entirely, which in retrospect was quite reasonable and something I shouldn’t have fought so hard against.  There was one character in particular that Samuel wanted to port over who is really the focus of all this. And that’s this gentleman:

I don’t recall Ass-Bot’s original intent but he was an impervious walking butt that sang as he traveled and, it was planned, would walk through battles accompanied by a band. The combatants would always stop battling, stricken by this sight, but would resume battle once he was out of ear-shot. As you can see above, really. Anyway, Samuel wanted to use the Ass-Bot character in his own super-hero campaign but since was unwilling to have a shared universe, he created doppelgangers of at least Derangemo and Ass-Bot. I don’t recall the Derangemo’s analog’s name but the Ass-Bot’s doppelganger was named Colon-Bot and this is the sang he sang:


I don’t know why Samuel chose that song, but since it was hardly an uncommon song, we would hear it all the time in grocery stores and the like and every time I would bring it to his attention. This culminated in me getting an MP3 player and putting the song on that (which also inspired a comic):

The original version of this ran at some point in 2006. I just can’t be bothered to find it.

This also started a tradition where, if the song was playing over the car’s speakers, then volume would be maxed and windows would be rolled down until it was completed. This cemented the song’s place in my personal library. It became connected to me as a person on a sunny summer day. Jeffrey Holloway and I were driving somewhere and we pulled up a stoplight where the neighboring car had its windows rolled down and were playing rap music so loud that I could feel the bass going through me. Without a word, I rolled down my windows, queued up Girls Just Want to Have Fun, and played it equally loud. Jeffrey was apparently frightened for his life.

Since then, if I am in a decent enough mood when I’m on my way to pick people up, I will blast Girls Just Want to Have Fun while I drive down the street in hopes that they hear me coming. This was the tale of how that song somehow became my anthem of choice to announce my arrival. This post probably didn’t have to be nearly this long.